A poem about finding friendship, oneself, and God.
Over the years, I became accustomed to a lonely life inside my shell– It had become my second-nature to retreat when all just felt unwell. I felt dejected because like other creatures, I couldn’t run, climb or fly. So much so, in challenging times, I didn’t even give it an honest try. Instead, I crawled back into the confines of my boxed, bosomed shell– choosing to survive day by day, with not a single adventurous tale to tell.
One day in jaded June, I basked under the searing sun. I drifted off for a moment, only to awake next to someone! I peered timidly at the stranger, resting quietly beside me– Her pleasant patterned carapace was quite the sight to see! I wondered if she knew just how perfect and polished she seemed, The sun’s radiant rays made her soft leathery skin glitter and gleam.
Her whimsical webbed-feet were unlike anything else I’d seen before. I pondered silently to myself about what she might use them for. Without a warning, she opened up her glassy, jewel-toned eyes. She dove fearlessly into the opaque pond, much to my surprise! My heart fluttered restlessly, as I feared for her safety below. How could she simply jump in, without letting anyone else know? What if she drowns dismally or gets stuck in murky mudflow?
I shook inside my shell, anxiously waiting for her emerald head to emerge The water’s surface stayed silently still while my panic began to surge. “Please, God,” I prayed passionately, “please let her be alright.” “I’ve waited so long for any sign of Your eternal loving Light.” The sun’s final rays danced daintily across the lulling lake, in the midst of their beams–I finally saw a reflection I couldn’t mistake!
Her intricate shell appeared iridescent just below the serene surface; She gracefully glided to the top, and took a deep breath in with purpose. Following her lead, I remembered to finally let out my stifled exhale. Sighing with relief, I watched in awe, as she fearlessly sailed.
She played peacefully in the welcoming water, confident and headstrong. Oh, how desperately I, too, wished to find somewhere to belong. It became clear to me that the wonderous water was unmistakably her home. I realized that the very shell offering me shelter had also left me feeling secluded & alone.
Feeling ashamed, yet again, I retracted back into my comfortable cage. This time, however, its darkness left me brimming with rage. My mind became a roaring arena full of angry, self-loathing talk. Mindfulness slipped away, and her presence was something I forgot.
Suddenly, I felt a powerful push–followed by a startling splash! I found myself in whirling waters, and began to helplessly thrash. I saw her silhouette near the shore, crawling carefree as could be, “Swim!”, she urged spiritedly, “You are a lot like me!”
ME?!” I thought, restlessly, “she must not be able to see.” “Just focus on your breath”, she said “and you, too, will feel free” “You’re wrong!”, I gasped between plunges, “I can’t do this at all!” She reminded me so sweetly, “but, you’ve already survived the fall.”
I watched the wholesome water warmly wrap itself around me, like it was awaiting my return. It enveloped me into its eager embrace; reminding me I was no unfamiliar extern. The familiar fear I lived with everyday with felt frivolous once I could see– –the dreary decades drifting away simply reflected my faithlessness in its steadfast security.
The comforting current cradled me, for the water had constantly carried me along. Surrendering to its steady support helped me to feel that I was inherently strong. I cried; I laughed—because I hadn’t felt much of anything in so long. But most of all, in that moment, I finally felt what its like to truly belong.
The majestic creature dove back into the water, and helped me swim back to shore. “Look!”, she declared, as we crawled out, pointing towards the lake’s alluring floor. I turned around trying to find what it was she wanted me to look for. Once I finally caught a glimpse of it, it was a sight too spellbinding to ignore.
I peered timidly into the water, marveling at a reflection I did not recognize. I stared at its perfectly patterned-shell, and soft skin with awe and surprise. “Wow”, I whispered, “It’s breathtaking–especially in the water’s blue hue.” “Of course she is,” smiled the truthful turtle, “because that, my friend, is you.”
Hi there! Welcome to the first post of a new series!
Over the last month and a half, I have had to take on the grueling and intensely rewarding task of taking on a classroom full of fiercely independent toddlers. Any teacher (or parent, for that matter) knows that very few situations make us feel as utterly helpless as a defiant toddler screaming “NO!”—for the millionth time that second.
2 months ago, I would have told you I have a pretty solid hold on classroom management; after all, I’ve wrangled in headstrong middle schoolers for years.
Today, I can tell you that I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I decided to shift to teaching younger kids. Toddlers are no joke. Just when you think you’ve got them down, they change!
Being a Pre-K teacher has forced me to break out of my rigidity; It has caused me to become brutally honest with myself. I have had to construct, deconstruct, rebuild, and revise my strategies daily because my tiny humans change every hour!
Teaching toddlers is like looking at myself in one of those magnified concave mirrors; every flaw–every insecurity–every mark I’ve ever tried to “conceal” becomes glaringly obvious.
It’s almost as if they possess this superhuman capability of detecting bullsh*t. With them, there is no “faking it”. Try as we may, we cannot fool these tactful tots. They just know. I don’t know how. I don’t know why–but, they just DO.
My toddlers have a peculiar and oddly reliable way of measuring our genuineness. Long before I utter a single word, they have already picked up on my energetic field. If I’m stressed, they know. If I’m happy, they know. If I’m in a “NOT TODAY” mood–they know.
It’s eerie.
So…..-drum-roll-
My first suggestion when interacting with this age group has nothing to do with them. It has to do with YOU.
Suggestion #1- Never EVER try to be anyone other than YOURSELF.
It is too easy and albeit natural to take on the “act” of being the “reasonable adult.” We want them to think we have it all together. In fact, sometimes, we get so stuck in this stoic facade that we forsake and ignore our true feelings.
Much like politicians, we become so focused on being diplomatic and societally “correct” that we forget to be human.
Because it is so important, let me reiterate this once more–
We CANNOT teach humans if we cannot own our own humanity.
And being human means we make mistakes–a lot of them.
Humans are not created to be sterile, or robotic; we are relational beings. We thrive off connection and a sense of belonging. As a result, we possess a wide variety of emotions. Human beings have the ability to feel sadness, joy, anger, love, jealousy, fear, excitement and so much more.
It is easy to own the lighter, happier emotions. But, what about the ones that can feel overwhelming? What about stress? What about anger?
It’s ironic because when I’m especially stressed, I tend to CLING even more to that “persona” of an “adult” who has everything “under control”. But… it’s a facade.
You know that.
And they know too.
Underneath my “cool and collected” front lies a torrential HURRICANE of panic, doubt, anxiety, and uncertainty.
And they feel it (sometimes, long before I do).
This leads me to my first (and most grave) error.
The biggest mistake I’ve made as a pre-school teacher is not sharing my “true self” with my students.
And honestly, in retrospect, I feel so silly about it. I wasted ample energy trying to conceal my more “difficult” emotions. As a result of my not expressing my true feelings, my classroom fell into a vicious negative feedback loop.
The more stressed I felt, the more my students acted out. The more my students acted out, the harder I tried to maintain the illusion of being an “unshakeable adult.” Despite how calmly I spoke, or how much I lowered my voice, my students picked up on the menacing angst brewing within me–
every. single. time.
I felt like this lady all day, every day.
It’s honestly annoying.
They can sense FAKENESS from MILES away!
The truth is–they don’t need a”made-up” person who has it all under control. They didn’t need the teacher that I was desperately trying to be.
What my toddlers needed all along was…ME.
They craved to connect with the real ME.
Kids, at this age, NEED an adult to express difficult emotions such as anger, sadness, and anxiety. They want us to identify our feelings, own them, say them out loud, and normalize them.
When we express our emotions to them, we are helping them to make sense of their own jumbled-up feelings. Communicating “big” emotions such as anger and anxiety helps us demonstrate adaptive ways of handling them. In those moments, we show (not tell) them how to effectively handle overwhelming emotions. We model how to handle conflict.
They watch how we respond to our own feelings. That is where true learning happens.
The goal, I found, is not to be an adult who shows little to no emotion.
The goal is to become more mindful of our own emotions so that we can express them in a healthy way. By doing that, we create opportunities for children to learn how to handle their own feelings in an appropriate manner.
We can’t tell them how to do it. We must show them how to do it.
And it has to be genuine.
I learned this the hard way.
I tried arduously to keep up the “facade”, but one day, I broke. I could no longer remain “calm” and “serene” in a classroom full of running toddlers who refused to listen. They were throwing toys, grabbing one another, jumping off chairs, and ripping up activities that I had planned for them. I wasn’t okay with that. In fact, I was NEVER okay with that. So what changed?
That day, though, one major thing happened:
I SHOWED them I wasn’t okay with it.
“EXCUSE ME!” I yelled, “SIT DOWN, RIGHT NOW!”
Most of the class came to a screeching halt. They had not heard me yell or lose my cool before.
“ENOUGH!” I said, “WE are ALL DONE!
“no more,” I whispered.
Of course, I had the few that thought I didn’t mean what I was saying. So, I, physically, walked over to them, held their hands, and gently led them back to their seats.
When everyone was sitting, I took a few deep breaths in and out. I took my time to cool down. I let them see me inhale, and exhale loudly. As I stood in front of the class, there was utter silence. All eyes were glued to me.
When I finally spoke again, I lowered my voice so much that they struggled to hear what I was saying.
“Ms. Abid comes in here every SINGLE day–excited to see all of you,” I whispered.
“It makes me so angry and sad when you all do not listen to what I am saying.”
“It makes me think that you don’t like having me as your teacher.”
As expected, students quickly jumped into reaffirm me: “That’s not true.” “Look, Ms. Abid! I’m listening.” “I’m sitting down!”
I gave them the opportunity to express their feelings, and only proceeded to speak when they were all silent again.
“I hate yelling at you all. It doesn’t make me feel good,” I told them. And, I honestly meant it.
“BUT”, I emphasized, “if you continue to act like this, I will NOT tolerate it.” And this time, I honestly meant it.
For the first time ever, I felt like they all heard me.
“Do you understand?” I asked my class.
They all nodded.
“Are you SURE?” I inquired, one more time.
They all nodded.
I spent the next few minutes walking around the classroom, approaching each student, and kneeling down to their level. I gently touched their arm or shoulder to get their attention. When I saw them sustain direct eye contact, I asked each, and every student to rephrase what I had just said in their own words.
And they did.
I wish I could say that everything changed that day– that I had no more problems with students acting out and everyone lived happily ever after.
But, that’s unrealistic.
It’s even more unrealistic when working with toddlers.
What I CAN say, however, is that I have RARELY found myself yelling after that day.
My expression of anger certainly got their attention, however, I can’t say that it was what kept their attention.
I attribute their increased listening ability to my letting them see me for who I am. This single change allowed numerous opportunities for my students to connect with me. As people, we cannot connect with an “illusions.”
Every day after that dreaded day, I made it a point to show up as myself—just as myself—a fallible human who is trying to learn them just as much as they are trying to learn me.
The BEST thing I did was I dropped the facade.
When my students stressed me out, I told them. When they did something to make me happy, I told them. When I felt sick or drained, I told them. When I felt dissatisfied or disappointed with their actions, I told them.
My genuine communication has been the precursor to building strong relationships with each one of my kids.
What I’ve learned is…
Taking ownership of ALL of our emotions is the bravest thing we can do—
For ourselves, AND for our children.
When we forbid ourselves to feel and express complicated emotions, we take away the chance to successfully show our little friends how to REGULATE their feelings.
So much has changed since the day of my “outburst.”
Nowadays, if you were to walk into my classroom, you would find it to be far more lighthearted.
By letting them see me, I have allowed them to build authentic connections with me.
Connection is key; no one wants to learn from someone they cannot relate to.
These days, I don’t need to get so intense. When I see my students veering off expectations, I say things more sarcastically (yet, keeping firm)…
.”okay…ya’ll are doing too much now.”
“_________(student name), you’re being a little too extra today.”
“Dear lord, yall are stressin’ me out…I’m no fun to be around when I’m stressed.”
“Whoa! We have a lot of energy today! Would you like to go outside before we do circle time?” Giving them options has been immensely helpful in reducing power struggles.
When all else fails, I flat out ask them, “are you acting out because you want my attention?”, and you’d be surprised at how many times they answer “yes.”
The thing is…all behavior is communication.
Being a teacher is all about getting more skilled at deciphering their behavior.
Getting to know each of my students has not only helped the classroom environment become less stressful, but also made it so much more fun…even for me!
Nowadays, I find myself dancing, singing, playing, building, and being silly with my kids. I get to celebrate their little victories and guide them through poor choices by offering them alternative solutions.
Most days, I would tell you that being a pre-K teacher is SO MUCH FUN!
And, if you have toddlers, you already know…if there is fun involved, our tiny humans will be the first ones there!
How do I get lean but small legs? How do I lose stomach fat? What do I eat to lose weight? How do I slim my calves? My quads? How much do you weigh? How many calories do you eat? How many hours do you workout? What types of exercises do you recommend?
Initially, this post was going to consist of me answering your frequently asked questions. However, as I got to thinking about the FAQs from all of you, I was hit with a glaring reality: the most requested blog posts/questions are usually regarding fitness. Getting even more specific, most of the questions within the fitness field are about how to change one’s appearance.
On the surface, this interest seems like admirable curiosity and dedicated ambition to improving oneself, however, the magnitude and fierceness behind the need for fitness “answers” is unsettling. Why is there such FEROCITY behind girls wanting to get rid of that problem spot, or fix their appearance? And do that all in the least amount of time?
Don’t get me wrong! The desire to improve upon oneself is certainly commendable and praiseworthy, however, the panicked INTENSITY behind changing who we CURRENTLY are is troubling and abnormal. I am not trying to isolate the girls who have asked me questions, as I am one of you! I am guilty of doing the same exact thing! I have spent hours upon hours researching how to “slim down bulky quads” or “lose baby fat”, or get rid of acne scars. I am guilty of the same deed. The reason for this post is to address this dangerous and critical epidemic that has infected so many women, including myself.
We have become contaminated with inaccurate information that tells us that we are not good enough. Turn on the TV and look at our commercials. There are ads trying to persuade us to get that cream and cleanser to fix our skin so that we can “gain confidence”; there are companies pushing us to invest in the newest supplements or body wraps so that we can jump-start our weight loss journey; because clearly, there is a scientific correlation between decreasing weight and increased happiness. Right? WRONG.
The entire realm of commercialism invests billions of dollars in attempting to brainwash us into believing that happiness can be bought. If we just had that perfect cream to cure our skin,the perfect supplement to help us lose weight, or the perfect book to change our lives, we would be happy! And, look at our companies. They are bent on trying to convince us that THEY have magically formulated the “perfect” item that is going to give us everything we have ever wanted.
Its absolutely heartbreaking.
It is truly unfortunate to comprehend how deeply these elusive expectations have infected my life. It’s the same sentence OVER AND OVER again, : “I will be good enough when…” …when I get my Ph.d, when the children I don’t even have yet tell me I’m a good mother, when I’m able to complete a marathon, when I have the perfect body, clear skin, etc.
What about now? Why am I not valuable enough to be loved now? I am a work in progress and I will always remain a work in progress. Does that make me invaluable or unlovable?—No, that makes me human.
This brings me back to the numerous questions about fitness—particularly, using fitness to change something that we don’t like about ourselves. We get so stuck in trying to fix what’s wrong with us that we never even stop to figure out why we feel unhappy. What do we not like about ourselves? What makes us unlovable?
We may not like the way we look–we may despise something about our physique or appearance. Some of us may loathe our tendencies–the way we feel, the negative thinking patterns we’ve acquired. Others of us may not be at peace with our behaviors–the things we have done in our lives, the things we may still be doing, the hurt we have caused to ourselves and others. Futhermore, we may be dissatisfed with our circumstances–our career situations, and our relationships.
I get it. It’s not always easy to like yourself. But, when did “being yourself” become such a taboo? Who decreed that we must be in constant competition with one another? So often, I feel as if my life is lost in trying to “conform” to societal norms better than everyone else. Sure, society thinks that helping people is great, but I want to be better than you at making other people feel better. HUH?!?!
And so commences, the dangerously fickle competition.
What if you could love yourself, exactly as you are? Without changing even one thing?
What is holding you back from doing that?
If you really trace it back, it is not the thing you’re bent on changing about yourself. Those muscular quads, the pimples, receding hairlines, odd-shaped noses, the “fat rolls”–these are not the things that are TRULY holding you back. What is, however, holding you back is the self-defeating BELIEF that YOU HAVE TO BE PERFECT to be LOVABLE, HAPPY and OKAY.
You don’t.
You can be comfortable with who you are, even if you have imperfections. And even more so, other people can be happy with you too, despite your various imperfections! We are all imperfect. We are all insecure about one thing or the other. Though we may struggle differently, we struggle nonetheless. We know what it feels like to be ashamed, scared of judgement, unhappy, dissatisfied and isolated. Whether we want to be or not, we are connected with one another.
I want us to ACCEPT ourselves exactly as we are. Will you do something with me? Will you aid me in putting a hiatus in the endless cycle of panicked “fixing” “picking” “prodding” “calculating”?
“I love and accept myself exactly as I am, and in doing so, I accept the world and other people exactly as they are.”
Repeat that to yourself, as many times as necessary. Repeat it, even if you don’t believe it yet.
Accept it. You’ve got a lumpy tummy, a big nose, horrible acne, noticeable hyperpigmentation, panic attacks, a stress disorder, a mental illness, a physical illness, thighs that touch, clothes that don’t fit, a list of people you’ve hurt, things that you regret. Accept all of it.
Accept it. And, now, stop looking at it.
It is really the looking, relooking, and oh–that one more look that is killing you. Hush. End it. It is there. Yes, you have an odd-shaped nose. Yes, you are overweight. Yes, your face has pimples. Yes, you really did let that partner get away. Recognize it. See it. And let it be. It is there.
Chances are, it is still going to be there the next 50 times you check too. In conducting this neverending recalculating, looking, remeasuring, and re-analyzing, we all inadvertently MAGNIFY our imperfections and insecurities. Some of us magnify them to the point that when we look in the mirrors that is ALL we see. And, we begin to fearfully fret that THAT is all others see too.
It’s okay. Let them see it.
Accept it all.
It is there.
Let it BE.
And, shift your focus to something else.
By accepting and letting things “be”, you are releasing the WORRY associated with your imperfections, not the imperfection itself. It is all okay. You are not going to become a lazy slug and not get anything done. You are not going to turn into a failing student because you’ve “accepted” that your grades are a certain way. You are not going to gain 300 lbs overnight because you’ve “accepted” that you are currently overweight. You are not going to end up in a mental asylum because you’ve “accepted” that you are currently suffering from clinical depression.
KNOW and BELIEVE that you are going to work from this place. “Rock bottom” is going to become a SOLID and DURABLE foundation to build the rest of your beautiful life upon. You are not going to slip into mediocrity. You don’t have to be uncomfortable with who you are to improve on the person you want to be! Contrary to popular belief, those things are not mutually exclusive. They CAN and DO work together. You CAN be comfortable with what you have, while working towards something better.
You are freaking awesome, but you are going to keep becoming even more awesome-er with each passing day!
You spend all of this time looking up workouts for a “lean, slender body.” Hours and hours on the Internet and social media leave you nothing but more confused. One person says do this much cardio; the other person says not to do cardio at all. Weights are key? Avoid weights like a plague? Huh?
In a world full of paradoxical recommendations, the greatest teacher–the greatest personal trainer that will guide you to attain your goal is…-drum roll please-….YOUR body! You can try tons of new things, but nothing– no method, no “perfect work out plan” will let you know how certain exercises and diet affect you like your own body.
The previous statement reminded me of something that one of my esteemed idols, Carl Rogers, said.
“Experience is, for me, the highest authority. The touchstone of validity is my own experience. No other person’s ideas, and none of my own ideas, are as authoritative as my experience. It is to experience that I must return again and again, to discover a closer approximation to truth as it is in the process of becoming in me. Neither the Bible nor the prophets — neither Freud nor research –neither the revelations of God nor man — can take precedence over my own direct experience. My experience is not authoritative because it is infallible. It is the basis of authority because it can always be checked in new primary ways. In this way its frequent error or fallibility is always open to correction.” —From On Becoming a Person, 1961
Do you see any trends in the words that I highlighted? As we truly “grow”, we begin to have more trust in our own experience rather that which is preached “common knowledge.” We, not only, minimize questioning the validity of our own experience, but also begin to appreciate that it is US who possess the strength, fortitude, and resolve to process and move through our respective experiences.
I, consistently, receive questions from innocent minds regarding fitness and “what to do” to obtain a certain body type. This leads me to believe that so many of us, including me, have been guilty of forsaking our bodies as our greatest guides. When we feel that something isn’t working in terms of “fitness”, our default cognitive resort is to blame/criticize and at worst, punish, our bodies. What are we doing wrong?
“WHY isn’t this working for me!?” we cry! “I’ve seen 10,000 transformations of girls all over the world who have had near miraculous results”
Defeated and tired, we return to the same UNDERLYING dejected, dismal self-belief: “there is something wrong with me. I am flawed. I am not like the others. I don’t belong. Therefore, I’m unworthy.”
Honestly, let’s call it for what it is. We feel ASHAMED. According to one of my favorite authors, Brene Brown, “shame is the intensely painful feeling of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging. It’s the fear that something failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection, love and belonging.”
So what do I do? What do YOU do? Nobody wants to feel this intensely painful feeling.
Humor me, for a second.
By default, you get up the next day. You pick, prod, push, and force your body to the same thing, hoping that if you just FORCE it hard enough, you will become one of those 10,000 positive transformations.
But, you already know that’s not what happens.
You end up getting MORE frustrated when “the damned thing” doesn’t DO what you “tell it to do!” and, Alas! The vicious cycle of self-hate, self-loathing, and isolation continues to menacingly spin round and round; it increases in magnitude each time it spins, so that the next time you feel this way, it can devour you.
I want you to step out of that cycle for a moment. I know where you are. I’ve been there too. I am willing to bet, every single girl living in today’s world has been there at some point.
I know you’re hurting. Come take my hand, sweet girl. Let’s step out of this familiar inferno for a moment.
If we delve a little bit deeper….a little bit more…Ah. There it is! Underneath the superficial layer of frustration & anger, I promise you we will, all, find something far too recognizable.
-Sigh-
We have become afraid of our bodies. I did, and I’m willing to bet that somewhere along the way, you became afraid of your body too. You start feeling paranoid, delusional– that it has somehow, acquired, a mind of its own. And, this mind–it is no friend of yours. In fact, it’s consistently plotting against you; your body is going off on its own vendetta, and destroying all the hard work you’ve put into it. There it is, laughing maniacally at your demise–like a scary clown with razor blades as fingernails. You’re afraid of it. It’s bad and scary.
So, you subconsciously dissociate “yourself” from your body.Your body becomes the “bad, evil villain” and you–you are its noble victim. Countless research has shown that human beings split these two entities, in order to reduce the anxiety and conflict that arise from two irreconcilable experiences. On one hand, you’re working so hard to attain a certain body type, and on the other hand, you’re not getting any results. In fact, if anything, you look “worse” than before you started TRYING!
But, isn’t it ironic though? That even to dissociate yourself from your body, your mind and body must work together to create that very thought! Oh sweet, precious girl, don’t you see? Nothing is working against you. On the contrary, everything is working with you.
You’ve been stuck in this power struggle between the “good” and “bad” parts of yourself; you’ve spent an exhausting amount of energy separating them-attempting to hide the “bad” and radiate only the “good.” Hoping that maybe, just maybe, by isolating your body from your mind, by isolating the “bad” from the “good”, you will attain acceptance, alignment, and most of all, safety. I know this, because I’ve been there too.
Sweet friend of mine, don’t you know that restrictive separation can never lead to wholeness–to fulfillment, to love, to connection, to oneness?
I wonder what would happen if we actually began to LISTEN to and honor our bodies. Because our bodies, they aren’t plotting against us. In fact, they are RELENTLESS in their attempts to try to communicate with us. They create rumbles and grumbles in our stomachs. They speak through delays in bowel movements, through the color of our urine, the ache in our joints and muscles. They express themselves through the antsy shaking of the leg, through our changing levels of energy and lethargy throughout the day. They articulate our stress through the tension held in our shoulders. They shout for joy by means of the adrenaline surge we get when we run (or as I’d like to think of it, when we fly 🙂 ) They yammer via uncontrollable laughter and tummy aches. They whisper in agony through frowns, furrowed brows, tears welling in irises–through the broken pacing of our breath.
So how can the best advice I can give to you, in fitness, and in life be anything other than to TRUST yourself? To trust your body. To trust ALL parts of yourself. Your mind, body and spirit are meant to be in concordant harmony.
You may have forgotten, but let me remind you, that your body was the FIRST thing to ever make a lifelong vow to you. She made this promise before your family, before your friends, before your lovers, and before your mind.
“I, your body, take you to be my partner, to have and to hold you, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health. I promise to love and to cherish you, from this day forwards until death do us apart.”
It is your most loyal companion. It is your lioness.
abidmaham 
