What if we did something courageous every single day? It doesn’t have to be going into battle with a lion each time; what I’m talking about is different. It is about taking gentle courageous steps.

What if we took risks each day—and allowed ourselves to try something new? Sounds easy enough. No, I mean really truly give ourselves permission to try new things WHILE remaining relatively okay with not knowing what the results might be. What if we let ourselves drown in the fundamental groundlessness of our existence?

We keep looking for some sort of anchor—some sort of ground—some sort of certainty. “If we do x+y+z, we must get xyz.” Then, when we don’t get “xyz”, we panic. The truth is that there is nothing that will always work; there is no foolproof method. That would be entirely unnatural, as our very existence is impermanent. We aren’t here forever. We live in complete ignorance of this reality, but the truth remains glaring. There is no guarantee that I will even finish this blog post; and I cannot guarantee that you will be alive to read it.  There is uncertainty in everything we do, everything we feel, everything we think, because there is uncertainty in everything we are.

I realize that this is immensely frightening, because it means we have to let go of knowing—we have to let go of our measuring sticks, our calculators—and of all the fallible instruments we use to try to aimlessly predict the results. However, it is incomparably and immeasurably freeing.

And as always, this brings me back to my passion: fitness.

The preceding reasons are precisely why I like changing up my workout regimen so often. Doing so forces me to try something new, and step into the unknown. It forces me to relinquish control. Upon starting a new program, I possess no knowledge regarding whether my body will bulk and balloon, or whether it will shrink and shrivel. And regardless of how uncomfortable and distressing that temporarily feels, I know that it will be okay. And, this is where I find my strength.

I’ll share something slightly humorous with ya’ll. Prior to starting any new workout program, I have to allow myself a few days of hibernation. I spend this time mustering up enough mental fortitude and courage to tackle the upcoming changes; I prepare towards being mentally okay with whatever may happen before I let my body perform even ONE exercise from the program.

As many of you know, I tried and completed Kayla Itsinies’ bikini-body guide 1.0 (eeep! I’m so excited about version 2.0 coming out!). Anyway, when I tried the first program, I found that my legs bulked up more than I preferred. Though this was unexpected, I discovered immense mental courage in being able to face that change. It forced me to return to a familiar commanding realization: the world did not, and will not crumble if things do not go exactly the way I plan.

Since it was a change that was different, it felt quite uncomfortable. I did not necessarily like bulkier legs on my frame; In fact, I knew that I wanted to work towards reducing their size. In the midst of the accompanying cloud of distressful feelings, there was a lucid moment of peaceful clarity. There was a fleeting glimpse of time, in which I was able to look at myself, and truly accept me just as I was, the bulk included ;).

And as a result, I began to cultivate more compassion for who I truly am. I began to not just realize, but also celebrate how swiftly my body adapts to varying circumstances! It is absolutely magical to grasp how intricately geared we all are to survive! My body adapts beautifully and intelligently to different pressures that I place on it; and it will continue doing this to ensure that I lead the most satisfying, and wholesome life. 

When this realization found me once more, I remember that I laughed and gave myself a big hug in the middle of my favorite coffee shop (I’m sure people around me thought I was slightly “off”, but that’s okay 🙂 ) In that moment, I was able to embrace all parts of myself, because I realized that together: my body, mind and heart were enough! I had and will continue having all the tools to achieve whatever I set after. I, Maham Abid, can handle anything life throws at me.

What an empowering notion it is to realize that I have always been strong enough to live the life I’m given. If I want a certain body type, I can go about attaining it in a loving, and collaborative manner. There is no need for starvation, or working out to the point of exhaustion. Likewise, there is no necessity to overindulge and become a couch potato. I am not meant to operate like an “on-and-off” switch; I am an ever-changing human being, which means that the real magic happens in a space of moderation.

What a breathtaking insight! I already have all it takes! And all it takes is all I’ve got! 🙂 I am enough. I have always been enough. There were, certainly, times when I felt blinded to that ultimate truth. However, my own inability to see my worth didn’t mean that it didn’t exist; my value didn’t dissolve into thin air; it had always been there.

It has been there since the beginning of my existence.

I am a positive, kind, and beautiful spirit who has the ability to interact gently and lovingly with the world I live in. These traits are, and have always been mine. This means that they will not disappear if other people don’t recognize them. Someone else’s ability to see the light within me does not take away from my own radiance. In fact, even my own rejection of my inherent value does not cause it to vanish. No. No. My worth lies deep within the core of my heart, waiting patiently to be re-acknowledged and reclaimed. 

So, go ahead friends, reassume control of your own internal environment! Do not let circumstances, your current state, or other people dictate your happiness and value. No one—no friend, no partner, no parent, no sibling, no esteemed role model has the right to make you feel worthless. Not even you.

Pardon my French, but let it be known…

 NO ONE has the right to FUCK with your PEACE.